Saturday, May 24, 2014

Holiday Fever

In case you're wondering, no one's given me a Whopper yet at the airforce base. Or a fry. Or anything but sidelong looks of fear as they make wide-births around me and my weed whacker.

But I don't care because it's Friday afternoon, on the eve of the long Memorial Day weekend. In honor of this big occasion, my first holiday spent in prison, I plan to make this a short post. Not that I have anything important to do but rather that I figure that you, my readers, are busy preparing for barbecues and trips, and thus are too busy to read this blog.

Don't worry about me stuck here in Lompoc as the holiday approaches: I'm not at all upset, or at least not all that much, since it's not a holiday I associate all that much with what I really miss: family. Just as on the outside, it's biggest meaning for me is that it promises a day off from work on Monday. Yay! No weed whacking for three whole days. We'll see if I'm as lighthearted when the big holidays roll around: Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, Christmas. Those days will, I expect, be much, much harder, days that I mope around missing my kids, bemoaning my fate. 

Before I fall into melancholy let me take you back to the big weekend at hand. Not only do we have a long weekend of leisure but the powers that be have organized a plethora of activities to keep us prisoners busy. Unfortunately, the traditional Memorial Day activities - beer, barbecues, trips to family - are strictly verboten. So our creative counselors have come up with some original diversions. On the way over to the computers, I jotted down tomorrow's schedule (which starts at the un-holiday-like time of 7 a.m.):

7 a.m.: Pinochle
8 a.m.: Ping Pong
9 a.m.: Soccer
10 a.m.: Pickle Ball
11 a.m.: Spades
12 p.m.: Bean Bag Toss
1 p.m.: Hillbilly Horseshoes
12 p.m.: Basketball

Exciting day, huh? So while you're off enjoying your holiday activities, maybe even eating a Whopper, take a moment to think of me, here at Lompoc, getting down to Hillbilly Horseshoes. Come to think of it, I haven't the faintest clue what that might be. I hope it's nothing like Hillbilly Oysters. Pickle Ball? Spades? WTF? Keep tuned for real-time updates - for all I know I may have a hidden affinity for these great sports. I'll let you know what they are once I learn myself. 

As you can see, for a prison this camp provides a lot of outdoor activities. In response to several requests from readers to describe this place, I was going to segue from the holiday into a description of the grounds of the camp itself: what the place looks like, how it's laid out, where we can walk, what we can do. But I've already broken my promise to keep this post short so promise to return to the topic in a day or two, once I've had my fill of Pickle Ball.

Have a great holiday everybody!

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