As promised, here is my little speech to the judge on the day of sentencing. As you can see, I made quite a bit of last-minute editing as I waited my turn on the rack. Mostly what I did was shorten it, heeding some advice others gave me. If I had to do it all over again, I'd shorten it even more.
Once I started reading it aloud in court it truly seemed like an eternity, as if I were reading the bible aloud from cover to cover. All I wanted was to get to the end as quickly as possible. As a result, I started to rush, mumble and stutter. My lawyer elbowed me in the ribs, and things went downhill from there. Although I felt it was important to apologize for the record in open court and I truly meant the things I said, the reality was that the judge had already made up his mind before I opened my mouth. I suppose it's only in Hollywood that a masterful courtroom speech actually makes any difference. Anyway, if this had been Hollywood the oligarch would have been sitting in the room crying over my heartfelt words as he struggled to forgive me.